2007 Update, Part II

I last posted in June, so I thought someone might be interested in an update. If you aren't, don't worry. I'm not much interested in my life, myself!

So we got as far as June, and me wailing about sick Mommy and surgical Daddy and My Precious with her back, poor kid...it's still a problem.

The Rents stayed with Precious through the summer, where there were multiple events. Mommy had her surgery. Daddy slowly recovered from his own. There was a baby shower for Nef and Nef's wife and baby. This was the miracle baby, a little boy-child who was much desired and anticipated, and is Precious' first grandboy. The pregnancy was going beautifully. The shower was fun, but I thought Niece-in-law looked a bit puffy. But she was indeed beautiful, and oh, so happy.

They do a strange thing down there...the girls have a "girl's shower" and then the menfolk come in and have a "men's shower". Which roughly means they sit around, bust each other, and get crocked.

L&M was invited down for the men's shower, so we both trucked down and helped with preps and all. Precious, Mommy, Big Red's girl (I'll call her Sweetie, because she is!) and I catered the event. The food was well-received.

As we ladies were preparing to clear out for the men's shower (aka 'the Debauch'), L&M tried to jump into the car to go back to the house with us ladies. Precious kicked him out and made him stay for the men's shower. We got reports later that all he did for six hours was sit on the couch and not talk to anyone. Well, L&M isn't known for being gregarious, and he doesn't drink, so I wasn't all that surprised. He's not exactly your basic Life-Of-The-Party.

I was a little tiffed that he went all that way and couldn't put an effort forth to be even a little sociable. He could have hung with my brother-in-law. They get along well, although L&M doesn't talk much (sometimes, not at all). And to boot, the one thing L&M had to remember was his gift for the baby's Daddy. He left it on the dining room table at Precious' house.

Okay, I'm used to this sort of thing so I didn't think too much of it. More will be revealed later, stay tuned.

July saw more and more work, and less and less of L&M doing any of it. I was really out straight with it all. He watched a lot of TV. I put in for a vacation for him, for the second week of September, thinking he was exhausted.

August was 'interesting times'. First, BG and his Lady got engaged. They started building a house. They were due to go on a cruise to Europe in the first part of August. Good times.

About a week before they were to leave, BG was doing his stretches on the living room loveseat, talking to his Lady on the phone, and something 'went' in his back. He ended up on the living room floor in a heap. He called me, I sent over emergency meds and requested he immediately go to the ER because I suspected a lumbar disk herniation. Of course, Motherdear is a fat stupid cow and doesn't know what she's talking about, so he treated it at home for a day or two, ignoring my continual pleas to at least see his PCP. He decided instead to try a chiropractor. How he drove his truck the quarter mile to the office is beyond me. He saw the chiropractor, who without an MRI or even a stupid X-ray, laid him on his side, pushed his shoulders forward with his hand and then pushed backward on BG's hips with the doc's knee, using his full weight. Something went 'crack, snapple, pop, KERPLOW' in BG's back, and he was unable to use his legs. Literally, his legs would not hold him up.

The next day, Lady helped him crawl to her car to take him to the PCP. In the one mile between his townhouse and the office, he started having spasms so bad that by the time they got to the office, he couldn't get out of the car. Four nurses and the doctor came out to the parking lot to help him. In the end, the little Chinese doctor who is BG's (and now L&M's) PCP said "Call an ambulance!" It took four firemen to get BG out of the car and onto a stretcher. They took him to the local ER and did an MRI. Severely blown L4/L5 disk. (Yeah, I'm a fat stupid cow, all right.) Long story short, three days on bedrest, and surgery on Monday. Severe pain, spasms, and God bless the little button that you push to get pain meds into your little body in a big hurry. My boy was one hurting unit. His Lady took right over and did a stellar job. I was right proud of them. They were only engaged for two weeks when this happened. Some couples don't work together this well after twenty years of marriage! (And I should know, having accumulated 31 years of marriage between three husbands!)

Needless to say, the cruise was off. But at least he can walk now.

The week after BG got out of the hospital, L&M went on a road trip to do some inspections of multifamily housing complexes. It was mid-August in Virginia, 90-degree heat, and he was running all over. The last day, he went to National airport to come home, and because of the way the travel department books the flights, he missed it because he had to return the rental car, get to the airport from the leasing facility, and go through security, and there just wasn't enough time to get to the flight. He called me, bitchin'. He said they had him on a later flight. He sounded funny...and repeated the call four times. Even at the airport, he couldn't seem to make it onto the flight.

Long story short (again), L&M had a major meltdown. He became confused and disoriented, was 'captive' in the airport for 24 hours before he let me put a stranger onto the phone to get him to the gate for his flight home. I had to look the gate up on the internet; he couldn't read the flight board. He kept telling me he was trying to get onto a boat. He thought he was flying out of Providence and not Washington. I called his daughter, and his son-in-law and brother met him when he finally got in, took one look at him and heard his nonsensical conversation, and took him right to the local ER.

They admitted him for delirium and bradycardia (a heart rate in the 50s. No, this is not an athletic man.) He flunked all the psych evaluations. I went in the next day to visit and stay with him, and the covering MD basically told me that he had dementia, and I should take him home and find a residential placement for him.

Punch me in the gut with a 2x4, would you? It would have hurt less.

I knew he had been declining, memory-wise, for awhile. I knew he had a hard time finding words, especially when stressed. I knew he was 'withdrawing' socially, but I thought he was depressed and anxious.

I'll cut to the chase - he hasn't worked since then, and won't again. He has pre-senile dementia, which is basically akin to Alzheimer's, or like the brain dysfunction people get in their older years (their MUCH older years). He's been worked up all over hill and dale, and there is absolutely nothing we can do about it except try to forestall the decline.

Some day, my husband will wake up next to me and will know I'm familiar, but won't remember my name. And there's not one damn thing I can do about it.

While we were working everything up, we also found out that he has an aortic aneurysm. He's still undergoing evaluation for that. We won't know if he will need surgery to replace his aorta and aortic valve for awhile yet. His last test was Thursday, and we're waiting for the specialist to make the determination. One thing is for sure, he will require the surgery at some point. We just don't know when it will be. Could be in six months. Could be in two years.

So now, my big, strong husband is looking pretty frail, is understandably depressed, and very angry. Angry at his body for betraying him (which, in truth, may be somewhat his fault since he hasn't seen a doctor in 25 years.) Angry at not being able to work. It's how he defined himself. Work was everything, his constant in life, and he was very good at it. Now he can't write two coherent sentences. And most of all, he's angry at me because I keep pushing to get all this stuff fixed as much as can be fixed so I have him around long enough to wake up next to me and not remember my name.

It's been fun.

The bright side...the grandkids are healthy. BG's back is healing nicely. Kal seems happy in his new job. The Rents are still alive.

And I still get to wake up next to my man. Who at this point, can remember my name.